The Return to Love Coach
My journey from confusion to clarity...
Hi I'm Tanya!
I'd like to tell you a little bit about me, who I am, and why I do what I do.
I'm originally from England, I was born in Hereford, and I've made Pittsburgh, PA, my home for the past thirty years.
I know how it feels to be degraded, feel depressed, live life stressed out, over-stretched, confused, anxious, ashamed, and upset with yourself for tolerating abuse. I hear you, I feel your pain, I have been there.
I also know how it feels having to make really hard decisions impacting your life, career and your friend circles. I know all too well the pain, guilt, and shame of uprooting my kids and turning their whole world upside down.
Leaving an abusive relationship can be so difficult! It took me four attempts to finally get out of an emotionally, financially, and verbally abusive marriage with an alcoholic man, who's narcissistic abuse I endured for over two decades. (I didn't know about trauma bonding at that time!) Even after leaving it was followed by two painful years navigating a very ugly, vicious and costly divorce. It was impossible to co-parent and I still continue to deal with the affects the narcissistic trauma has had on my two adult children. I strive to help them heal, and support them as they navigate their own difficult relationships with their father.
I certainly lost myself along the way amidst the abuse, and I knew I needed to heal and find my purpose, happiness and joy again. I searched for ways to overcome my self-doubt, and fully heal (completely unaware that I was most likely suffering from being codependent, having complex PTSD and unresolved trauma.)
Talk therapy helped a little bit, but I felt like I was just rehashing the same stuff over and over without moving forward. I craved practical steps I could take to truly heal, recover, and thrive again. I educated myself about narcissistic personality disorder, and underwent EMDR, and RTT and I set out on a path to find a way to fully heal so as to have a healthy relationship with myself and ultimately with someone special!
I have always been intrigued by personal development work and in the spring of 2019 my daughter and I embarked on a year-long "Perfect Health Mastery" journey, working with a Life Coach in San Diego. The positive psychology techniques we learned were so impactful that friends and family who saw such immense changes in us began asking for help with their own challenges. Of course we shared what we had learned, and that subsequently took me on a path of curiosity and learning.
I signed up for High Performance Coaching with Leah Eggers, a Certified High Performance Coach™, and shared my desire to use my life experiences to help other women heal from narcissistic abuse. Leah introduced me to Caroline Strawson, another CHPC™, who specializes in PTSD, CPTSD, and narcissistic abuse and trauma recovery. I quickly realized that Caroline's training was exactly what I had been searching for, I simultaneously worked on my past traumas while training with the Post Traumatic Growth Academy® as a Hypnotherapist and qualified as a Certified Narcissistic Trauma Informed Coach.™ I later trained in level 1 Brainspotting, and utilize that modality in my one on one coaching.
I've spent the majority of my career in the financial services industry, and the past several years in workforce development. I have a lot of experience mediating, coaching, training, developing, and managing people, which has enabled me to easily relate to all types of people from every background; all of these skills have set me up to be a well rounded life coach!
I like to work with caring, compassionate, kind women who recognize having had their empathic and caring qualities used against them, and who are willing to do soul work to heal. Few people tend to understand or even believe our story when we are on the receiving end of narcissistic abuse, but I want you to know that I do understand and I believe you! I promise to walk alongside you and work with you to help you gain clarity, heal your trauma, and design a practical strategy to get you from where you are now, to where you want to be.
If you're a woman business owner who is successful in many areas but struggling with imposter syndrome, unhealthy family relationships or tends to self sabotage your relationships or successes, it is likely due to unresolved trauma. Until I worked on healing my inner child and my wounds from narcissistic trauma I wasn't able to get out of my own way and flourish in my business. I can help you get there too!
I want to help you see your worth, reconnect with who you are, and help you set boundaries and fix your "picker" so that you don't end up in another toxic relationship.
I’m not a therapist and coaching is not therapy. In fact, if you have debilitating PTSD or CPTSD, I highly recommend you also see a therapist who is trained and understands abuse and trauma, however, I can identify and help you manage PTSD and CPTSD symptoms and triggers, and provide you with tools to help heal from the abuse and to reclaim your power to move forward.
I use many of the concepts I learned for myself in my coaching practice today including positive psychology, hypnotherapy, Brainspotting, and the Narcissistic Trauma Unlocking® Coaching method.
Feel free to reach out, I'd love to hear all about you, your business, your struggles and also where you would like to start imparting some clarity to your own life.
Let's work together to move you from confusion to clarity, transition you from toxic relationships to healthy ones, reconnect you to your true self and set you on a path to return to loving others, in a healthy way!
Isn't it time you rediscovered the joy in your life?