Are You Abandoning Yourself?

#codependency #codependent #narcissistictrauma #toxicrelationships #enabler




Are you feeling used, exhausted, depleted and resentful? Do you diminish or dismiss your feelings because you think they don't matter? Are you a chameleon, changing yourself to fit in with others? Do you put everyone's needs before your own? If so, you may be abandoning yourself.


Self-abandonment begins in childhood. It's likely that your parents or caregivers didn't meet your emotional and/or physical needs in your childhood causing you to feel unworthy and unlovable and not good enough. Self-abandonment can also occur or worsen while being in a relationship with a person with narcissistic tendencies.


We abandon ourselves when we don't value ourselves, when we don't act in our own best interest, and when we don't encourage, praise, or respect ourselves. This is a learned behavior and something we used as children in an attempt to avoid pain when living in a dysfunctional, abusive, or unpredictable family environment. We chose to fade into the back ground, not speak up for our own needs, and put the needs of others first in order to "keep the peace." While this may have served us as children it is no longer serving us as adults.


Here are some examples of ways in which we abandon ourselves:


  • Not trusting our instincts; second-guessing ourselves, overthinking and allowing others to make decisions for us..

  • Codependent relationshi